details Archives - Wylie Communications, Inc. https://www.wyliecomm.com/tag/details/ Writing workshops, communication consulting and writing services Wed, 20 Dec 2023 14:32:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 https://www.wyliecomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/cropped-wci-favico-1-32x32.gif details Archives - Wylie Communications, Inc. https://www.wyliecomm.com/tag/details/ 32 32 65624304 Use concrete details in your press release lead https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/details-make-the-difference/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/details-make-the-difference/#respond Sun, 10 Sep 2023 05:00:48 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=12500 Specifics sell products, services & ideas

The internet coffee pot. Word of the year. The Dust Bowl.

Details like these grab attention and help readers see your big idea.… Read the full article

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Specifics sell products, services & ideas

The internet coffee pot. Word of the year. The Dust Bowl.

Details make the difference
Ready for my close-up Think specifics, not generalities, as the writers of these Silver Anvil Award-winning news releases do. Image by ImagesGR

Details like these grab attention and help readers see your big idea.

To use this approach, take a tip from William Carlos Williams, and turn ideas into things —like these PRSA Silver Anvil Award-winners do:

Choose one image to stand for the whole.

Marie Hatter chose a single detail to stand for her point atop the Cisco blog post “Internet of Everything“:

Do you remember the Internet coffee pot? Back in the earliest days of the Internet, researchers at the University of Cambridge put a constantly updating image of their break-room coffee pot on the Internet. It had a utilitarian purpose — why go all the way to the break room if the pot was empty? But it was also a bit of an Internet sensation. I remember showing friends the coffee pot of the Mosaic browser and breathlessly exclaiming, “And this is all the way from England, and it’s live …” There really wasn’t a lot of content on the Internet in those days.

Compare then to this: a coffee maker that tracks your usage, and wirelessly “phones home” to order refills when you’re close to using up all of your coffee pods. If you think this is unusual, then you better strap yourself in, because from here on, things will get faster. The next phase of the Internet is arriving sooner than you think with the Internet of Everything.

So choose an example to stand for the whole.

Internet of Everything? Too big.

Internet coffee pot? Just right.

Binge watching in a detail

Netflix uses the same approach for “Netflix Declares Binge Watching is the New Normal”:

“Selfies” may be the official new word of [the year], but Binge-Watching was a runner up for a reason. A recent survey conducted online by Harris Interactive on behalf of Netflix among nearly 1,500 TV streamers (online U.S. adults who stream TV shows at least once a week) found that binge watching is a widespread behavior among this group, with 61% binge watching regularly.

If the common perception of binge watching was a weekend-long, pajama-wearing marathon of TV viewing, survey respondents don’t see it that way. A majority (73%) defined binge watching as watching between 2-6 episodes of the same TV show in one sitting. And there’s no guilt in it. Nearly three quarters of TV streamers (73%) say they have positive feelings towards binge streaming TV.

What we think about binge watching? Too broad.

Binge watching as runner-up to word of the year? Just right.

Bringing dirt down to size

PR pros for World Soil Day bring soil health down to earth in their Op/Ed “Soil Conservation: The Next Generation”:

Ken Burns’ recent documentary, “The Dust Bowl,” serves as a sobering reminder that we owe our existence to the top six inches of soil and timely rains. It also reminds us, as President Franklin Roosevelt wrote, “The nation that destroys its soil, destroys itself.”

In the intervening 75 years since the Dust Bowl, farmers, ranchers, conservationists and policy makers have worked diligently to reverse the tide of soil erosion while making enormous gains in agricultural production. Working to heal much of the nation’s cropland affected by that ecological disaster, generations of farmers, ranchers, policy makers and conservationists deserve our unqualified appreciation and praise.

We now stand on the precipice of a new era in agricultural sustainability — one that seeks to not just stem the tide of erosion, but to rebuild the health and productivity of our nation’s soil. Rebuilding our nation’s soil health may well be the most important endeavor of our time.

All the soil in all the world? Too big!

The top six inches? Just right.

Go tiny.

For a specific-details lead, choose a part — a tiny part — to illustrate the whole.

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Vital statistics https://www.wyliecomm.com/2017/01/vital-statistics/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2017/01/vital-statistics/#respond Mon, 09 Jan 2017 05:00:11 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=14951 Add color and credibility to your copy with numbers

Which personal finance story would draw you in? One that starts:

Are you saving enough for retirement, no matter how young you are?

Read the full article

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Add color and credibility to your copy with numbers

Which personal finance story would draw you in? One that starts:

Are you saving enough for retirement, no matter how young you are?
Vital statistics
Name names, number numbers Draw attention to your message with numerical detail. Image by Nadine Shaabana

Or one with this lead, from Northern Update, the marketing magazine of Northern Funds:

A 45-year-old couple making $80,000 a year today will need $4 million at retirement to live comfortably through their 80s.

The latter? Me, too.

Name names and number numbers. Draw attention to your message and prove your points with numerical detail.

1. How big is big?

Show readers size and scale with statistics and comparison.

Here’s a before example, the lead of a content marketing piece a client sent me to edit:

The Rosa Khutor Alpine Resort is located in Krasnaya Polyana in the Northern Caucasus in Russia, close to the Black Sea. The resort is set to receive a major boost to its profile by becoming one of the major projects of the 2014 Winter Games.

Some 43 hectares of sport tracks will reach nine kilometres in total in order to meet the requirements of the International Federation of Mountain Skiing (FIS). The resort has therefore been equipped with a state-of-the-art XYZ system. ABC’s value-added reseller, Whozits, was commissioned to implement the system. …

There’s a number in there, but it’s not used to build the story, set the scene or make a point. Here’s the after, this time with more statistical evidence to make a point about the client’s project:

You have to tilt your head to see the tops of the mountains at the Rosa Khutor Mountain Resort.

In Russia’s Western Caucasus, some 30 km from the Black Sea, a massive mountain range soars up to 1,760 km — more than a mile — above a tiny subtropical village called Krasnaya Polyana. There, the world’s best athletes will assemble for the alpine skiing competition at the 2014 Winter Games.

But that spectacular terrain also adds up to a major event security communication nightmare. …

2. How small is small?

So how small is small? Is it the size of a thumbnail? An iPhone? A toaster? A backpack? A car?

Help readers see size and scale with comparison.

In this before, the client had included a laptop analogy, but buried it further in the story:

Delivering coverage fast has never been so easy

Temporary communications coverage is often needed to get the job done – whether that’s delivering security at a major event or completing a big engineering project on time. Whatever the need, the world’s smallest base station makes rolling out coverage easier than ever.

The XYZ base station from ABC is the smallest base station in the world, yet it packs in the same powerful features as its big brother, the XX. These include fast TK data, air-interface encryption, 123 handover and base station fallback. …

But if the whole point is size, lead with that. Here’s my rewrite:

Baby grand

The world’s smallest base station makes rolling out coverage easier than ever

It’s little larger than a laptop. But that’s what makes ABC’s XYZ mini base stations — the smallest base stations in the world — so powerful.

You can use them to quickly roll out temporary communications coverage. They fit into tight spaces, save energy and money and even go mobile when necessary.

Talk about small packages. …

How wet is wet?

If your point is “prone to flooding,” then make that point statistically. Here’s another before, from that same client:

As a city prone to flooding, Tianjin in China uses a system of channels and flood retention areas around the city to manage flood water and limit the damage to urban areas. Tianjin is also known for its pioneering efforts in scientific and sustainable development. For the city, water conservation is a top priority and has the highest rate of water recycling in China.

Digital communications plays a major role in this flood management plan and Tianjin has an 800 MHz XYZ network comprising one switch and 15 base stations covering both the city and its suburbs. In addition, one dispatcher workstation and around 100 terminals are used. …

OK, my basement is prone to flooding, too. But how wet is wet? Here’s my rewrite, supplemented with 6 minutes of online research:

Tianjin ranks on a top 10 list no municipality wishes to make: It’s among the top 10 cities in the world at risk of flood loss.

Specifically, Tianjin risks losing nearly 100,000 residents and $30 billion in assets in a deluge, according to a report by Risk Management Solutions.

As Tianjin leaders work to safeguard the sixth largest city in the People’s Republic of China from potentially devastating floods, they employ a surprising tool. In addition to channels, reservoirs and hydraulic monitoring, city officials rely on an 800 MHz XYZ network, developed by ABC. …

Add concrete detail with statistics.

Startling statistics are amongst more than 6 types of concrete material to try.

“If you want to be credible, be specific,” writes Doug Williams, a principal in Tomasini-W2K. “Heinz doesn’t have a ‘multitude’ of varieties; it has 57. Bressler’s doesn’t have a ‘whole lot’ of flavors; it has 33. There aren’t ‘many’ deadly sins; there are seven.

“Well, eight, if you count vague writing.”

How can you make your message more colorful and credible with statistics?

What questions do you have about using statistics in your message?

Learn more about writing with statistics.

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    How can you make tedious topics interesting?

    Fun facts and juicy details might seem like the Cheez Doodles and Cronuts of communication: tempting, for sure, but a little childish and not particularly good for you.

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    There, you’ll learn six quick ways to add color to your message and how to help readers understand big ideas through specific details.

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