leads Archives - Wylie Communications, Inc. https://www.wyliecomm.com/tag/leads/ Writing workshops, communication consulting and writing services Tue, 16 Jan 2024 13:00:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 https://www.wyliecomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/cropped-wci-favico-1-32x32.gif leads Archives - Wylie Communications, Inc. https://www.wyliecomm.com/tag/leads/ 32 32 65624304 Use concrete details in your press release lead https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/details-make-the-difference/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/details-make-the-difference/#respond Sun, 10 Sep 2023 05:00:48 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=12500 Specifics sell products, services & ideas

The internet coffee pot. Word of the year. The Dust Bowl.

Details like these grab attention and help readers see your big idea.… Read the full article

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Specifics sell products, services & ideas

The internet coffee pot. Word of the year. The Dust Bowl.

Details make the difference
Ready for my close-up Think specifics, not generalities, as the writers of these Silver Anvil Award-winning news releases do. Image by ImagesGR

Details like these grab attention and help readers see your big idea.

To use this approach, take a tip from William Carlos Williams, and turn ideas into things —like these PRSA Silver Anvil Award-winners do:

Choose one image to stand for the whole.

Marie Hatter chose a single detail to stand for her point atop the Cisco blog post “Internet of Everything“:

Do you remember the Internet coffee pot? Back in the earliest days of the Internet, researchers at the University of Cambridge put a constantly updating image of their break-room coffee pot on the Internet. It had a utilitarian purpose — why go all the way to the break room if the pot was empty? But it was also a bit of an Internet sensation. I remember showing friends the coffee pot of the Mosaic browser and breathlessly exclaiming, “And this is all the way from England, and it’s live …” There really wasn’t a lot of content on the Internet in those days.

Compare then to this: a coffee maker that tracks your usage, and wirelessly “phones home” to order refills when you’re close to using up all of your coffee pods. If you think this is unusual, then you better strap yourself in, because from here on, things will get faster. The next phase of the Internet is arriving sooner than you think with the Internet of Everything.

So choose an example to stand for the whole.

Internet of Everything? Too big.

Internet coffee pot? Just right.

Binge watching in a detail

Netflix uses the same approach for “Netflix Declares Binge Watching is the New Normal”:

“Selfies” may be the official new word of [the year], but Binge-Watching was a runner up for a reason. A recent survey conducted online by Harris Interactive on behalf of Netflix among nearly 1,500 TV streamers (online U.S. adults who stream TV shows at least once a week) found that binge watching is a widespread behavior among this group, with 61% binge watching regularly.

If the common perception of binge watching was a weekend-long, pajama-wearing marathon of TV viewing, survey respondents don’t see it that way. A majority (73%) defined binge watching as watching between 2-6 episodes of the same TV show in one sitting. And there’s no guilt in it. Nearly three quarters of TV streamers (73%) say they have positive feelings towards binge streaming TV.

What we think about binge watching? Too broad.

Binge watching as runner-up to word of the year? Just right.

Bringing dirt down to size

PR pros for World Soil Day bring soil health down to earth in their Op/Ed “Soil Conservation: The Next Generation”:

Ken Burns’ recent documentary, “The Dust Bowl,” serves as a sobering reminder that we owe our existence to the top six inches of soil and timely rains. It also reminds us, as President Franklin Roosevelt wrote, “The nation that destroys its soil, destroys itself.”

In the intervening 75 years since the Dust Bowl, farmers, ranchers, conservationists and policy makers have worked diligently to reverse the tide of soil erosion while making enormous gains in agricultural production. Working to heal much of the nation’s cropland affected by that ecological disaster, generations of farmers, ranchers, policy makers and conservationists deserve our unqualified appreciation and praise.

We now stand on the precipice of a new era in agricultural sustainability — one that seeks to not just stem the tide of erosion, but to rebuild the health and productivity of our nation’s soil. Rebuilding our nation’s soil health may well be the most important endeavor of our time.

All the soil in all the world? Too big!

The top six inches? Just right.

Go tiny.

For a specific-details lead, choose a part — a tiny part — to illustrate the whole.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Add statistics to your press release lead https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/how-to-write-a-good-feature-lead/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/how-to-write-a-good-feature-lead/#respond Sun, 10 Sep 2023 05:00:47 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=15196 Prove your point with a data point

Research shows … that nearly half of commuters text and drive … that one in three patients enters the hospital malnourished … and that 66% of women won’t kiss men with moustaches.… Read the full article

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Prove your point with a data point

Research shows … that nearly half of commuters text and drive … that one in three patients enters the hospital malnourished … and that 66% of women won’t kiss men with moustaches.

How to write a good feature lead
Startling statistics can draw readers in. Just ask these Silver Anvil Award winners. Image by Alexander_DG

Startling statistics can make a good lead.

Let’s pause and ponder that for a minute too.

Underline “startling.” This doesn’t mean that you can pack your first paragraph with a bunch of boring numbers. But one surprising statistic can set up your PR piece beautifully.

But you don’t have to tell PRSA’s Silver Anvil Award winners. They use statistics to sell their ideas:

From the sad …

AT&T uses startling stats in its release “Nearly Half of Commuters Admit to Texting While Driving”:

Nearly half of commuters self-reported texting while driving in a recent poll, and 43% of those who did called it a “habit.”

Commuters are texting and driving even more than teens — 49%, compared to 43%. And the problem has gotten worse. Six in 10 commuters say they never texted while driving three years ago.

So while efforts to raise awareness of the dangers of texting while driving are working — 98% of commuters surveyed said they know sending a text or email while driving isn’t safe — there’s clearly more work to be done to change behaviors.

And Visa, in this Reading Is Fundamental lead:

Today, more than 40% percent of fourth-grade children read below the basic level for their grade. That’s one reason Visa is asking you to join the company in its effort to help children learn to read. Each time you use your Visa card, Visa will make a donation to Reading Is Fundamental …

… to the sick …

Alliance to Advance Patient Nutrition leads with the numbers in its release “Leading Healthcare Organizations Launch Interdisciplinary Partnership: The Alliance to Advance Patient Nutrition”:

Today, one in three patients enter the hospital malnourished and more become malnourished during their stay. With policy changes in the U.S. health care system driving an increased focus on high quality and affordable care, there is an urgent need to address the pervasive issue of hospital malnutrition and ensure that nutrition therapy is a critical component of patient care.

Five prestigious health care organizations today jointly announce the launch of a new interdisciplinary partnership, the Alliance to Advance Patient Nutrition. The Alliance’s mission is to improve patient outcomes through nutrition intervention in the hospital.

So does Novartis Animal Health, in this Deramaxx lead:

Every day, each of the 25,000 U.S. veterinary clinics will get, on average, a visit from two arthritic dogs. Odds are, one of those dogs will leave the clinic untreated, still suffering in silent pain. More than 10 million dogs (that’s one in five adult dogs) suffer from osteoarthritis.

… to the sublime …

Cisco starts with compelling numbers in its blog post “The Internet of Everything is the New Economy”:

The Internet of Everything (IoE) is potentially the biggest business opportunity in the history of mankind. It will change the world with extraordinary and wide-ranging implications, affecting everyone on the planet. Research firm IDC predicts that this massive shift will generate nearly US$9 trillion in annual sales by 2020.

By comparison, the total annual sales of the San Francisco Bay Area’s 150 largest technology companies in 2012 were $677 billion. The total revenue of the consumer electronics industry in 2013 was about $1.1 trillion.

A study conducted by General Electric concluded that the Internet of Things (IoT) over the next 20 years could add as much as $15 trillion to the global gross domestic product (GDP), roughly “the size of today’s U.S. economy.” Of the $19 trillion in profits and cost savings projected over the next decade, Cisco® estimates that $14.4 trillion will be new private-sector profits, and $4.6 trillion will come from public-sector cost savings and new revenues.

In its study, General Electric positions the IoE trend “much like the industrial revolution of the 18th and 19th centuries, when mechanized manufacturing made mass-produced goods possible, and rural residents flooded into cities.” The study adds, “We are at the cusp of another wave of innovation that promises to change the way we do business and interact with the world of industrial machines.”

… to the ridiculous.

Gillette uses startling stats in its media alert “Gillette asks Houston couples to ‘Kiss & Tell’ in live national experiment and tell the world their preference — a smooth shaven or stubbled kiss”:

Research shows that people are kissing less than ever and that 66% of women have avoided kissing a guy because he had facial hair. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon and signs showing that the kiss may be on the decline, Gillette is asking couples across America to help determine if stubble could be the trouble.

Next steps

Learn to add startling statistics to your next PR lead.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Set the scene in press release leads https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/description-works-for-pr-leads/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/description-works-for-pr-leads/#respond Sat, 09 Sep 2023 15:57:33 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=13894 Use the power of description

Imagine the first few hours in the recovery room following a hysterectomy or … ligament repair. Consider what post-surgical life has been like for some pets undergoing common surgical procedures; intense hours WITHOUT pain medication. 

Read the full article

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Use the power of description

Imagine the first few hours in the recovery room following a hysterectomy or … ligament repair. Consider what post-surgical life has been like for some pets undergoing common surgical procedures; intense hours WITHOUT pain medication.  …

Description works for PR leads
Color readers interested Paint pictures in your readers’ minds, as these Silver Anvil Award winners did. Image by David Pisnoy

Paint a picture in your lead through description like this, from a Pfizer Animal Health release.

Description makes a great approach for a PR lead. Here, Silver Anvil Award-winning PR pros show how it’s done.

‘Thick with the smell of fast food …’

This lead helped win support for the nation’s first statewide menu labeling law, sponsored by the California Center for Public Health Advocacy:

In a Capitol room thick with the smell of fast food and breakfast entrees, proponents of Senate Bill 120 (Padilla-D Los Angeles), the proposed nutrition menu labeling law, dramatically illustrated why this legislation needs to be signed by the Governor.

‘Tongs and spatulas flew …’

PR pros for PAM used description for this Silver Anvil winner:

Tongs and spatulas flew in a heated competition that pitted 11 of America’s top grillers against each other at the national Battle of the PAM-azing Grillers grill-off in New York City. …

On a New York City rooftop, (winner Ron) Snider grilled, garnished and grabbed the judges’ attention …

Most obsolete office …

Xerox relied on description to show what the “most obsolete office” in America looks like in this Silver Anvil-winning press release lead:

After stumbling over piles of overflowing files and fumbling with outdated technology that sits on crumbling furniture, employees at Mad Science screamed, “Help, my office is obsolete!” Xerox Corporation (NYSE: XRX) and Entrepreneur magazine listened, naming Mad Science of Scottsdale the winner of their Office Makeover Contest.

Belligerent driving…

Nerves of Steel, a coalition of steel producers, leads by describing belligerent driving in this Silver Anvil-winning release:

We’ve all witnessed aggressive drivers on the road — drivers that speed up until they are within inches of our car, flash their lights at us, or gesture obscenely. Fortunately, according to the results of the fourth annual Nerves of Steel aggressive driver survey released today ….

Next steps

Learn how to add description to your copy.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Tell a story in your press release lead https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/anecdote-makes-a-great-lead/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/09/anecdote-makes-a-great-lead/#respond Sat, 09 Sep 2023 04:55:57 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=15198 Anecdotes are easier to believe, understand and remember

One way to pitch a story that reporters want to catch: Start with an anecdotal lead.

Anecdotes make your PR pieces easier to believe, understand and remember.… Read the full article

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Anecdotes are easier to believe, understand and remember

One way to pitch a story that reporters want to catch: Start with an anecdotal lead.

Anecdote makes a great lead
Take a tip from these Silver Anvil winners and tell me a story in your news release lead. Image by Yellowj

Anecdotes make your PR pieces easier to believe, understand and remember. So use an anecdotal lead whenever possible to illustrate your key idea.

As they rounded a bend on the country road …

Take a tip from this Department 56 Silver Anvil Award-winning release lead, and tap the power of storytelling:

Twenty-five years ago, on a holiday outing, a group of friends set off for dinner at a small country inn nestled in a quiet river town. As they rounded a bend in the road, they saw a small, quaint village, decorated for the holidays with lights that glowed on the fresh-fallen snow. This was the original inspiration for The Original Snow Village Collection — a nostalgic collection of lighted ceramic buildings that evoked memories of yesteryear.

Buddy was hit by a car …

And this Deramaxx Silver Anvil Award-winning release lead is one of my favorites. Note the story in the quote:

Even as the 200-foot giant mural was erected, Dallas resident Niki Eichman worried she might not be able to find her dog among the thousands of photographs.

“Buddy was hit by a car when he was very young,” Eichman says of the 4-year-old Lab mix that shattered his pelvis and dislocated his elbow in the accident. “To this day, the only reason we can wrestle and play is because his veterinarian recognized his resulting arthritis and did something about it.”

Tell me a story.

Want to stand out from the crowd of “today announced” and fact pack PR leads? Try storytelling instead.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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What lede (or lead) should you use for web content? https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/05/lede-or-lead/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/05/lede-or-lead/#respond Sun, 21 May 2023 12:11:37 +0000 https://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=24648 4 types of web leads to try — and 3 to avoid

Lede or lead?

You won’t find it in the Oxford English Dictionary. But the alternative spelling lede was supposedly created during the linotype era so as not to confuse lead with the strip of metal that was used to separate lines of type.… Read the full article

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4 types of web leads to try — and 3 to avoid

Lede or lead?

Lede or Lead
Ledes should lead However you spell it, the opening paragraph of your web content should lead readers into your piece. Image by Javier Brosch

You won’t find it in the Oxford English Dictionary. But the alternative spelling lede was supposedly created during the linotype era so as not to confuse lead with the strip of metal that was used to separate lines of type.

The word lede still looks weird to me. But even if you prefer the spelling lede, remember: Leads lead the reader into the body of your piece.

So what types of web content leads should you try?

4 types of web leads to try

Web content’s not a newspaper story. So instead of news leads, try these four types of web leads:

1. Snappy synthesis

Don’t bury the lead under all of the W’s and H’s. Instead, steal a trick from The New York Times, and try snappy synthesis. Synthesize your subject matter into a short, snappy sentence like this:

Russia has a new enemy: the currency markets.

2. Stakeholder benefits

Don’t write about us and our stuff. Instead, draw readers in by focusing on how they can use, or benefit from, our products, services, programs and ideas. Here’s how that looks:

The 2,000 commuters who now spend an hour each day driving from Sunrise Beach to Osage Beach will soon be able to make the trip in 15 minutes.

The reason: a new, $24 million bridge that Community Transport Corp. will build this summer.

3. Data point

Can you illustrate the gist of the story with a startling statistic? If so, try a lead like this, from Visa’s Reading Is Fundamental program, for your web content:

Today, more than 40% of fourth-grade children read below the basic level for their grade.

4. Illustration

Show, don’t tell. Illustrate your essential point with an example like this, from an H&R Block survey of kids about taxes:

Most 8- to 11-year-olds would rather go to school year-round than pay a nickel of “allowance tax.” But pit that nickel against Nickelodeon, and they’d gladly fork it over to protect their tube time. They also imagine Batman would pay more income tax than either Superman or Spiderman.

3 types of web leads to avoid

Don’t treat your web content as a news story … but don’t bury the lede, either. Here are three types of leads to avoid:

1. Abstraction

To draw readers into your web content, write web leads that are concrete, creative and provocative. That means dry, boring, abstract leads like this aren’t a good choice:

In agriculture and the general economy, change can happen fast, and when it does, the ripples are often felt in the value of collateral.

2. Background

The background section — aka the blah blah — belongs in the third paragraph. So keep definitions, history lessons and other broader context like this out of the opening paragraph:

XYZ Company’s development of ear-blasting technologies began with the introduction of Make It Louder software in 2004. Since then, it has progressed to include three additional generations of ear-blasting technologies that continue to achieve the highest level of sound quality.

3. Welcome text

According to the Nielsen Norman Group, nonessential introductions like this one cause readers to skip your lead:

Welcome to our site. We hope you will find our new and improved design helpful.

Ledes should lead

Whichever lead approach you choose for your web content, make sure it’s concrete, creative and provocative. Make sure your lede leads readers into the story — instead of leading them astray.

Regardless of how you choose to spell it.

Learn more

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Use WIIFM communication for news release leads https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/04/wiifm-communication/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2023/04/wiifm-communication/#comments Sun, 09 Apr 2023 14:00:08 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=13650 Move from event to impact to engage readers

Screenwriter Nora Ephron long remembered the first day of her high school journalism class.

Ephron’s teacher announced the first assignment: to write the lead for a story to appear in the student newspaper.… Read the full article

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Move from event to impact to engage readers

Screenwriter Nora Ephron long remembered the first day of her high school journalism class.

WIIFM communication
What’s in it for me? Don’t tell me about your event. Tell me what I’ll be able to do at your event. Or focus on the outcome of past events. Image by Yawar Hassan

Ephron’s teacher announced the first assignment: to write the lead for a story to appear in the student newspaper. He told them the facts:

“Kenneth L. Peters, the principal of Beverly Hills High School, announced today that the entire high school faculty will travel to Sacramento next Thursday for a colloquium in new teaching methods. Among the speakers will be anthropologist Margaret Mead, college president Dr. Robert Maynard Hutchins, and California governor Edmund ‘Pat’ Brown.”

Ephron and the other budding journalists condensed the who, what, when, where and why of the story into a single sentence:

“Governor Pat Brown, Margaret Mead, and Robert Maynard Hutchins will address the Beverly Hills High School faculty Thursday in Sacramento …”

The teacher reviewed the leads, then paused for a moment.

“The lead for this story,” he said, “is ‘There will be no school next Thursday.’”

Not ‘just the facts, ma’am’

What’s the point of your news story? It’s probably not really the five W’s and the H. Instead of focusing on the event, focus in the impact, or how the news affects your readers.

Covering a:

  • Speech? Write about the most valuable thing the speaker said, not the fact that she spoke.
  • Event? Focus on what people will be able to see and do at the event, not the time, date and place.
  • Meeting? Center the piece on what was decided at the meeting and how it will affect the reader, not on the logistics of the meeting itself.

What would Miss Piggy do?

To reach readers, think like Miss Piggy and write about MOI, counsels management consultant Alan Weiss. That’s “My Own Interests,” from the reader’s perspective.

One way to do that is to shift your focus from event — what occurred, when, where and why — to impact. That will make your copy more interesting, relevant and valuable to your readers.

___

Sources: Chip Heath and Dan Heath, Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, Random House, 2007, pages 75-76.

Lorraine Glennon and Mary Mohler, Those Who Can…Teach! Celebrating Teachers Who Make a Difference, Wildcat Canyon Press, 1999, 95-96

  • Persuasive-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Move readers to act with persuasive writing

    Your readers are bombarded with the data equivalent of 174 newspapers — ads included — every day, according to a study by USC’s Annenberg School for Communication.

    In this environment, how do you grab readers’ attention and move them to act?

    Learn how to write more engaging, persuasive messages at our persuasive-writing workshop.

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Try second person for press release leads [Examples!] https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead-example/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead-example/#respond Sat, 02 Jul 2022 09:00:17 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=13040 Lead with you in media relations pieces

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic.… Read the full article

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Lead with you in media relations pieces

It’s counterintuitive, but true: The product is never the topic. The program is never the topic. The plan is never the topic. The topic is never the topic.

Press release lead example
Hey, y’all Here’s how six PR pros made the reader the topic in their PRSA Silver Anvil Award-winning campaigns. Image by chrisdorney

The reader is always the topic.

Here’s how six PR pros made the reader the topic in their PRSA Silver Anvil Award-winning campaigns.

Use the ‘Y word.’

The easiest way to write about the reader, in PR as well as in other pieces, is to use the magic word: You. That’s what PR pros did for these award-winning leads:

It’s on you. You have the power to save a life. That’s the message going out to [City] residents — especially those in the African American community — who will be asked to become potential marrow donors at a donor registry drive hosted by Be The Match®. The [date] event is part of a nationwide effort during African American Bone Marrow Awareness Month.

— Be The Match media advisory

The billion dollar-a-year tax increase, Amendment 66, is like the latest “As Seen on TV” product. It’s full of promised innovation and life-changing outcomes, but post-purchase you realize you just spent a lot of money and nothing is actually better.

— Vote No on 66 campaign op-ed

Your school is invited to join Celebrate My Drive (CMD) 2013, an opportunity for students and communities to come together to celebrate 2013’s class of new drivers. The first year behind the wheel is the most dangerous for teens, and it’s an issue we know is important to your school.

— State Farm Celebrate My Ride news release

Use the imperative voice.

Here’s another approach to leading with the reader: Use the imperative voice.

We learned in third grade to call the imperative voice the command voice. And it can be a command: Do the dishes. Make your bed. Clean your room.

When we use it, though, it’s the invitation voice: Grab a spade … prepare your senses … dig a little … learn a lot.

Davis, Calif., April 3, 2013 — As spring temperatures go up, it’s an excellent time for farmers, ranchers and gardeners to focus their attention down to the soil below them. A spring check-up of your soil’s health gives clues of your ground’s ability to feed plants, hold water, capture carbon and more. No fancy equipment required. Just grab a spade or shovel and prepare your senses to dig a little and learn a lot.

— Natural Resources Conservation Service news release

Use a placeholder for ‘you.’

I actually prefer to avoid you and the imperative voice in media relations pieces. For one thing, who’s you — the reporter or the end reader? For another, I still like to retain an objective, third-person voice in PR pieces.

The solution? A placeholder for you: Community members. New drivers. Farmers throughout the state. Teens who commit to safe driving.

That’s how these Silver Anvil award-winners set up their stories:

Community members of all ages are invited to join Celebrity Chefs Nicolas Come of Nicolas’ Garden and Adam Pechal of “Restaurant THIR13EN” and “Tuli Bistro” fame, as they co-host the inaugural “Farm-to-Fork Family Food Feud,” game on Saturday, September 28, 2013, at 11:00 am.

— Nicolas’ Garden news release

Bloomington, III., (Sept. 16, 2013) — Parents of teen drivers believe teens are obeying the letter of the law when it comes to graduated driving licensing (GDL) laws. As it turns out, what parents think — or hope — and what teens report actually doing don’t match up according to a new survey conducted by State Farm.

— State Farm news release

During National Teen Driver Safety Week, new drivers across North America are rallying their communities to commit to safe driving. Car crashes are the number one killer of teens in the US and Canada. Students in more than 3,000 participating high schools are celebrating the joy of driving while at the same time working to reverse this startling statistic.

— State Farm news release

A growing number of farmers throughout STATE have “discovered the cover” — and for some very good reasons. They’re increasingly recognizing that by using cover crops and diverse rotations, if s possible to actually improve the health and function of their soil.

— Natural Resources Conservation Service op-ed

Bloomington, III., (August 15, 2013) — Teens who commit to safe driving could have the chance to bring Grammy Award winner Kelly Clarkson to their hometown for a free concert this coming school year. As part of the company’s Celebrate My Drive® program, State Farm is teaming up with Clarkson and offering teens across the U.S. and Canada the opportunity to learn more about safe driving, win grant money for their school, and be one of two schools to win a free concert by Kelly.

— State Farm news release

Put the end user first.

Sometimes, the topic is just one or two members of the reading community. In this case, start with a placeholder for you anyway. Here, instead of leading with CHS Energy or its Tanks of Thanks rewards program, brilliant PR pros lead with the award winners:

Two local residents have received a special thank you for their contributions to the community. Colleen Wallien and Kirk Zastoupil of Aberdeen, S.D., were selected to receive free fuel from Tanks of Thanks®, a program that rewards people who do good deeds to help make their community just a little bit better.

— CHS Energy Communications news release

Want reader interest? Take a tip from these Silver Anvil winners and write about the reader and the reader’s needs, not about “us and our stuff.”

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Avoid announcements in press release leads https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/lead-press-release/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/lead-press-release/#respond Sat, 02 Jul 2022 05:35:17 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=13994 Don’t announce that you’re announcing

When I was editor of an executive magazine, I received dozens of press releases every day.

This was back in the day when releases moved on paper, so I read them over the trash can, giving myself just a few seconds from the time I picked the release up off the stack to the time it hit the circular file.… Read the full article

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Don’t announce that you’re announcing

When I was editor of an executive magazine, I received dozens of press releases every day.

Lead press release
For crying out loud Surely there’s a better way to start your story than XYZ Company today announces that …  Image by izusek

This was back in the day when releases moved on paper, so I read them over the trash can, giving myself just a few seconds from the time I picked the release up off the stack to the time it hit the circular file.

In that time, I could usually read five words of the lead. The five words I read most often?

XYZ Company today announces that …

Announces what?

I’ll never know; your release is already in the trash.

If you have something to announce, announce it! Don’t announce that you’re announcing it. Remember, the press release itself is the announcement.

Get to the verb quicker.

“A story should be a verb, not a noun,” says Byron Dobell, former editor of Esquire and American Heritage.

One problem with announcement leads is that they make the verb “announce” the story.

Another problem is that they upload the story with nouns. It’s never really “XYZ Company today announces that …,” after all. It’s:

XYZ Company, the leading maker of petroleum-based pet-feeding solutions and a division of ABC Conglomerate, today announces that …

Whatever verb comes after the “that” is the real story:

  • Announces that … we’re launching a new product.
  • Announces that … we’re taking this position on an issue.
  • Announces that … we’re making a hostile takeover bid for Google.

In these announcements, the verbs “launch,” “take” and “make” are the real stories. So one way to check the strength of your lead is to count the number of words that come before these verbs. The more words, the further you’re delaying the story.

Drop ‘today announced.’

I’m not the only communicator who’s bored by “today announced” leads.

Internet World’s “Blah, blah, blah” column used to excerpt and annotate the worst releases the editors had received that month. My favorite:

Aborescence, Cogego Cable and Cable-Axion Digitel Successfully conducts first cable modem test of Bandai @ World Internet Appliance Quebec.

The annotation:

Lead of a press release from Bandai … We were too tired to read the rest.

Don’t wear your readers out. If you have news to announce, announce it.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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3 types of press release lead paragraphs to try https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead-paragraph/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead-paragraph/#comments Sat, 02 Jul 2022 05:30:05 +0000 http://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=14062 Choose benefits, news and feature leads

Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release?… Read the full article

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Choose benefits, news and feature leads

Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release? Are you still married to the dated “XYZ Company today announced …” approach?

Press release lead paragraph
Follow the leader Make sure your message gets heard with colorful, compelling PR leads. Image by urfin

These conventional formulas to release leads are formulaic, old-fashioned and — let’s face it — dull. Both approaches slow the story down, appear unsophisticated and are too stereotypical to stand out from the competition.

Instead, choose from these three more effective approaches.

1. Benefits leads

Launching a new product or service? Focus on how it solves customer problems instead of on the product or service itself with this model, which I developed for my clients:

X (users) who have struggled with Y (problem) will now be able to Z (benefit), thanks to A (product or service).

Here’s how it looks in action:

Commuters who now spend an hour each day driving from Sunrise Beach to Osage Beach will soon be able to make the trip in 15 minutes, thanks to a new bridge that ABC Company will build this summer.

2. News leads

Do you have news to report? Instead of covering the five W’s and the H, appeal to reader interest by leading with the two most interesting elements to readers:

  • What — as in “What happened?”
  • Why — as in “Why should I care?”

Here’s how it works:

XYZ Corp. volunteers will plant 77 trees at Encore Park on Sunday. That means the park, located in area hit hard by drought, will have trees that help reduce runoff, absorb rainfall and retain water.

3. Feature leads

Feature leads show instead of tell. They attract readers by illustrating your key message instead of just stating it. Feature lead approaches include:

Description. This lead helped win support for the nation’s first statewide menu labeling law, in a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by the California Center for Public Health Advocacy:

In a Capitol room thick with the smell of fast food and breakfast entrees, proponents of Senate Bill 120 (Padilla-D Los Angeles), the proposed nutrition menu labeling law, dramatically illustrated why this legislation needs to be signed by the Governor.

Startling statistics, like this lead from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by Visa:

Today, more than 40 percent of fourth-grade children read below the basic level for their grade. That’s one reason Visa is asking you to join the company in its effort to help children learn to read …

Compression of details, as in this lead for an H&R Block survey story by Fleishman Hillard’s John Armato:

Most 8- to 11-year-olds would rather go to school year-round than pay a nickel of ‘allowance tax.’ But pit that nickel against Nickelodeon, and they’d gladly fork it over to protect their tube time. They also imagine Batman would pay more income tax than either Superman or Spiderman.

Other feature lead approaches include anecdote, analogy, wordplay, concrete details, human interest and examples.

Surprise and delight your readers.

Whichever approach you use, write a lead that appeals to your readers’ self interest or that makes your story interesting.

Can’t do that with a fact pack.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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Six press release leads to avoid https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead/ https://www.wyliecomm.com/2022/07/press-release-lead/#respond Fri, 01 Jul 2022 13:23:48 +0000 https://www.wyliecomm.com/?p=24154 How many of these have found their way into your releases?

Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release?… Read the full article

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How many of these have found their way into your releases?

Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release? Are you still married to the dated “XYZ Company today announced …” approach?

Press release lead
Lead the way Write press release leads that engage readers, instead of these PR 101 approaches.

These conventional formulas to press release leads are formulaic, old-fashioned and — let’s face it — dull.

Make sure these PR 101 leads don’t find their way into your releases:

1. Abstraction

Show, don’t tell. When writing news release leads, choose concrete details, not abstract ideas.

Good communication can prevent an accident from becoming a disaster.

2. Announcement

If you have something to announce, announce it! Don’t announce that you’re announcing it:

ABC Company today released its 2012 Corporate Sustainability Report, the first complete and integrated record of the company’s sustainability performance following the merger of ABC and XYZ in March.

3. Background

Background — also known as the blah blah blah — is no way to draw readers into a piece. Instead, leave the definitions, history lessons and broader context for the third paragraph.

Don’t start like this:

XYZ Company’s development of ear-blasting technologies began with the introduction of Make It Louder software in 2004. Since then, it has progressed to include three additional generations of ear-blasting technologies that continue to achieve the highest level of sound quality.

4. Fact pack

Instead of a “suitcase lead” — one you try to cram all of the story elements into — aim for a bikini lead. Cover just the interesting essentials.

After all, if you lead with all of the W’s, what do you put in the second paragraph?

On Aug. 4, XYZ’s first-ever system-wide physician networking event was held on top of the parking structure at XYZ La Jolla. With the theme, “Surf’s up on the Rooftop,” this well-attended event was open to all XYZ physicians and their guests, who dined on island-style cuisine and danced to a live band while watching the sunset.

5. Question

Planning to run a question lead? What if the reader doesn’t know — or care — the answer to your question?

Have you ever been in a situation where your personal interests seem to be in conflict with your responsibilities as an XYZ employee?

I don’t know. Have I? Maybe start by illustrating some situations where my personal interests are in conflict with my employment contract, instead.

6. Quotation

As anyone who’s ever interviewed an engineer knows, quotes aren’t necessarily riveting. And quotation marks don’t magically make them so.

“XYZ product is a smart, strategic investment for growers, and the ABC offer means it pays even more to plan ahead,” said Somebody Important at Allied Appliances. “XYZ product helps growers get the most out of every acre. Allied Appliances is doing all it can to ensure growers are prepared for 123 season.”

What to use instead?

Instead, make your release lead compelling with reader benefits, synthesizing the news or illustrating the idea with a feature lead.

  • Lead-writing workshop, a mini master class

    Hook readers with great leads

    You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!

    To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.

    Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.

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